


Cutting Loose

by akeijis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adulthood, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei (past), M/M, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-15 06:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5775955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akeijis/pseuds/akeijis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The stress from work, the pain of being not good enough to play professionally, the disappointment of having his life go nowhere, and the unhappiness from this relationship all crashed down on him at once and he couldn’t have stopped himself from speaking again even if he had bothered trying.</p>
<p>He took a deep breath, and then quietly, “I want to break up.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A lot of times, people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it.  For example, Bokuto’s booming laugh that Kuroo used to find so charming now just made him grimace.  It was too loud.  Too obnoxious.  Too annoying.

They were getting dinner at the same little hole-in-the-wall place they always ate, with the same waitress that always took care of them, at the same table they always sat at.  It was the same, but entirely different.  Kuroo’s heart didn’t race when Bokuto kissed him before they sat down and his stomach didn’t flutter as his hands were held across the table.  He found it annoying.  It was too much touching.  Too much PDA.  

Since when did PDA bother him at all?

“Akaashi was telling me that some girl he works with confessed to him yesterday!” Bokuto was saying, loudly.  Kuroo was playing with his food, listening.  “He was so flustered by it that he said yes! Can you believe that! Akaashi said yes to a _girl_.”

“Unbelievable,” Kuroo said dryly.  

“It’s going to be so awkward when he tells her that he doesn’t swing that way,” Bokuto continued, his voice carrying around the entire restaurant.

Kuroo grimaced slightly.  “We’re in public, Bo. Quiet down.”

“Right, right! Sorry!” he whispered dramatically.  “So how about you? How was your day?”

Kuroo didn’t answer immediately.  It’d been long, tiring, slow… He worked as a bartender, and working the rush hour shift (as he called it) was his least favorite thing to do.  Honestly, he still had a headache from how irritating some of the people were.  

“It was fine,” he said after a pause.  “I made about a hundred in tips, so tonight is on me. Okay?”

Bokuto’s smiled widened.  “Only if you insist!” he said, obviously not trying to fight to pay himself.

“I do.”

There was silence for a few minutes while they ate.  Kuroo couldn’t think of anything else to say.  They’d already talked about Bokuto’s day of volleyball training.  He had actually had the audacity to complain about it, when he _knew_ how much it killed Kuroo that Bo was good enough to play professionally.  

Kuroo had quit volleyball in college.  It turned out that being good in high school didn’t mean he was good in college too.    

Neither of them said anything when the waitress came to refill their cups, and it stayed quiet when she put the bill down on the table.  Kuroo glanced at it quickly before pulling out his wallet.

The walk home to Bokuto’s apartment was short, but the silence made it seem to take forever.  Bokuto held his hand, as if he hadn’t noticed at all that something was wrong.  

It wasn’t surprising, given that Bokuto rarely ever noticed when anything was wrong.  

“Are you staying for a bit?” Bokuto asked cheerfully, throwing his jacket onto the arm of the couch as soon as he was inside the door.  Kuro didn’t bother taking his off.

“No, I’m going home.  I’m sort of tired.”

“Aw, come on Tetsu! I’ll make you coffee or something!”  

No point in saying no.  Bokuto would just pout.  

Kuroo slipped off his jacket and hung it on the door handle.  “Just one cup, then.”

He sat at the kitchen table while Bokuto went into the kitchen to make their drinks.  There was mail scattered all over it, some still unopened.  A few magazines were on the seat next to him.  It was so cluttered.

Not cluttered.  Crowded.  And Messy.  

“Here you go!” Bokuto announced himself as he put a mug of coffee for Kuroo down on some of the unopened mail.  A stain started spreading on the envelope.  Kuroo looked away from it.  It wasn’t his problem.

Bokuto fell into the seat across from him and grinned widely before taking a loud drink.  Kuroo did the same, lifting the mug to his lips and taking a small sip.  Too sweet.  Like he’d dumped half a cup of sugar in it. The same way he always made it.

They sat in silence for a while, Bokuto leaning back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling contentedly.  Not a care in the world.  God, it pissed Kuroo off.  How could anyone be that careless constantly? He hated it.  Hated how nothing mattered.

Kuroo drank the hot coffee down quickly and stood up.

“I’m going home now.”

“Aw, come on Tetsu!  Stay a bit longer?  I don’t think I’ll be able to go to sleep for like hours no-”

“I’m tired and I’m going to go to bed.”  Kuroo stood up and walked to the door without looking back. His hands shook as he grabbed his jacket and put it on.

“Well, I guess if you’re tired we could alwa-”

“I’m exhausted, Bokuto.”  The words slipped out before he could stop them, and once they started, he couldn’t seem to stop them.  “I’m exhausted and have felt like shit all day.  I just want to be alone for a while, okay?  I don’t want to hang out right now.”

“You feel like shit? Since when? We had a nice evening.”

Kuroo wasn’t looking at him, couldn’t turn around to meet his eyes.  He was shaking and had to bite his tongue to keep from turning around and screaming at him.  Nothing was wrong.  Bokuto couldn’t see that anything was wrong so why should he bother?

“Are you upset or something?”

Fuck biting his tongue.

“No, I’m perfectly fucking happy right now,” Kuroo shot at him, turning around with his arms wide, inviting Bokuto to shoot back.  “Why would anything ever be wrong in this perfect little world you have?”

“What does that mean?” Bokuto asked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.  “Is something wrong?”

The stress from work, the pain of being not good enough to play professionally, the disappointment of having his life go nowhere, and the unhappiness from this relationship all crashed down on him at once and he couldn’t have stopped himself from speaking again even if he had bothered trying.

He took a deep breath, and then quietly, “I want to break up.”

The silence that followed was painful.  He watched Bokuto’s face change from confusion, to shock, to hurt.  He saw the tears start welling up in his eyes and spilling over onto his cheeks.  

Kuroo should’ve wanted to rush over and dry them, but he didn’t.

“I’m going home, Bokuto.  I’ll let you know when I can get your stuff back to you.”

He turned and opened the door.  

“ _Wait_.”  

Kuroo paused, half way out of the apartment, and looked back.  Bokuto was steadily crying, still standing in the same spot in the middle of the living room.  As Kuroo watched, he doubled over, clutching his sides and shaking as he let out a heavy sob.  

“Go to sleep,” Kuroo said quietly.  “Call Akaashi.  Take care of yourself, okay?  Goodbye.”

With that, Kuroo stepped outside and closed the door behind him, ignoring the tears that had had started sliding down his own cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Kuroo woke up with a headache.  His eyes were hard to open, still red and a bit swollen.  He guessed he had cried more than he thought last night.  The room was too bright when he finally opened them; the light coming in from the window was shining right at him.  He had forgotten to close his blinds like he normally did.  That wasn’t really that unexpected though.  He hadn’t really been paying much attention last night. 

By the time he managed to get himself up, the light had moved half way down the length of his bed.  He had no idea what time it was.  Didn’t care much either.  After everything last night, he deserved to stay in bed half the day.  His head pounded and he wobbled a bit once he reached his feet, but he didn’t wait to steady himself before he left his room for the bathroom.  He needed Advil or he was going to throw up from how badly his head hurt. 

In the split second he was in the hallway, he noticed someone sitting on his couch in the living room.   _ Kenma _ , he thought to himself.  It was Sunday after all.  Kenma always came over on Sundays.  It was the only day neither of them worked. 

He didn’t bother trying to fix his hair or make his face look less like he’d been crying before he went out to join Kenma on the couch.  Neither of them said anything.  Kenma hadn’t even looked up at him, instead keeping his focus on his phone as he played one of his games.  Kuroo squinted at the clock on his cable box.  It was already 1:35 in the afternoon.  Kenma had probably been sitting there for an hour at least.  Kuroo felt a bit guilty, but it wasn’t like Kenma exactly needed to be entertained. 

“You’re up late,” was the only greeting Kuroo got.

Kuroo shrugged, tipping himself over to lay against the couch pillow, sticking his feet in Kenma’s lap. 

“I had a long night.”

Kenma hummed and hit the home button on his phone before finally looking away from it.  His eyes widened slightly when he caught sight of Kuroo’s face.

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyes moving across Kuroo’s face quickly, searching it. 

He could have laughed at the question.  No, he wasn’t okay at all.  He had just dumped his best friend and didn’t know what he was going to do now.  He didn’t know how or when he was going to get his stuff back.  He didn’t know if his friends were going to all take Bokuto’s side.  He didn’t know how he was going to function now that he was alone. 

Three years is a really long time to be with someone.  He couldn’t remember what it was like being single before they had started dating.  And on top of that, he couldn’t even remember what it was like not having Bokuto as his best friend.  His last year of junior high was the last time he hadn’t been close with him, and that was only because they hadn’t met yet. 

Kenma was still looking at him with concern.  He rolled onto his side so he wouldn’t have to see the expression on Kenma’s face when he told him. 

“I broke up with Bokuto.”

There was silence.  Kuroo didn’t need to be looking at Kenma.  He knew what face he was making.  It was the same face he’d made when Kuroo showed up at his doorstep in high school, bags in hand, asking for a place to stay after he’d gotten kicked out of his house.  It was the same face as when Kuroo told him he had quit volleyball in college.  It was the face reserved for when Kenma knew that Kuroo’s life was starting to fall apart.  Like it  _ always  _ did.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes.  Kuroo pushed himself off the couch and went into the kitchen to make coffee.  He needed a distraction from the silence in the room.  It wasn’t until he went back into the living room, mug in hand, that Kenma spoke.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, dropping his gaze down to his lap.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kuroo dropped heavily back into his seat on the couch and shook his head.  He raised the mug to his lips and let out a hiss when the coffee burnt his tongue.  He set it down on the coffee table to wait for it to cool down a bit. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Kenma asked, still not looking at him.  Kuroo shook his head again.

Kenma didn’t like talking about relationships.  He wasn’t interested in them.  He didn’t fully understand them.  And Kuroo wasn’t going to make him talk about it now.

He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by someone pounding on the door.  Both of them jumped and looked quickly over at it.  They didn’t have to wonder long because a moment later they heard yelling.

“Open this fucking door right now, Kuroo!”

That sounded like Akaashi.  Kuroo’s eyebrows furrowed as he pushed himself to his feet again and walked hesitantly towards the door.  He unlocked it and reached for the handle, but it opened before he could reach it. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” was the way Akaashi greeted him.  Kuroo raised an eyebrow and didn’t step aside to let him in.  “I got a call from Bokuto this morning,  _ screaming _ about how he wanted to  _ die _ .” 

Akaashi’s voice was venomous.  Kuroo looked away from him, not having anything to say.  He knew that he’d devastated Bokuto.  He had no excuses.  Akaashi paused for a moment, glaring at Kuroo as if daring him to say something.  When he didn’t, Akaashi continued to yell. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he repeated, his voice getting louder and louder with each word.  “I need to know.  I need a good fucking reason why you ruined his life.”

“I didn’t ruin his-”

“Oh you didn’t?” Akaashi spat, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  “Sorry, I thought that your boyfriend dumping you after three years with no real explanation was something that might ruin your fucking life.  Or am I overreacting to seeing him sitting on his floor screaming and crying?”

“Please stop yelling,” Kuroo said quietly, still not looking at him.  “I have neighbors.”

“Good!” Akaashi yelled.  “Now they can all know what a piece of shit you are!”

Kuroo sighed and tried to close the door, but Akaashi stopped him.   He opened his mouth to start yelling more, but a small voice behind them cut him off.

“Why don’t you just let him in Kuroo.”

They both looked around at Kenma, who was on his phone again.  He didn’t say anything else.  Kuroo sighed and stepped aside so that Akaashi could come into his apartment.  There was silence for a few moments as Akaashi took off his shoes by the door and Kenma got up to retreat into Kuroo’s room.

Akaashi broke the silence, no longer yelling but no less venom in his voice.

“He said you didn’t even give him a reason. You just left,” he hissed.  “So explain it to me.  Why did you break his heart?”

Kuroo bit his lip.  “I didn’t mean to br-”

“Doesn’t fucking matter what you ‘meant to do’. You broke his heart.  Now tell me why.”

Kuroo could feel the tears start to burn his eyes and he tried so hard not to let them fall.  He wasn’t going to cry in front of Akaashi.  He wasn’t going to let him see how wrecked he was as well.

“I couldn’t handle it anymore,” Kuroo shrugged, doing everything he could to hold himself together.  “His mood swings; his constant need for attention; his lack of any concept of personal space.  I just couldn’t do it.”

“But you  _ knew _ that was what he was like before you started dating him. If that’s the only reason then that’s bulls-”

“You’re one to talk,” Kuroo shot at him before he could stop himself.  “You turned him down in high school.”

“I’m aware,” Akaashi shot back.  “Because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to handle him as more than just friends.  I didn’t lead him on for three years just to pull the rug out from under him.”

“Lead him on?”  Kuroo crossed his arms over his chest.  His pulse was racing and he could feel his hands start to shake.  “I didn’t lead him on.  No part of our relationship was fake.  I gave him everything I had for three years. I loved him.”   _ I still love him. _

“Until things got hard and then you ran away like you always do.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Kuroo yelled.  “I don’t want to be with him anymore and I don’t need to justify that to you!  You can’t possibly understand what’s going on right now and have no right to come in here and start atta-”

“So you don’t think he even deserved a real explanation because I think that’s complete bullsh-”

“I already gave you an explanation, asshole.  I couldn’t handle it anymore and sometimes I have to put myself fi-”

“Oh,  _ sometimes _ ?” Akaashi repeated mockingly.  “Like you don’t always put yourself first.”

“I  _ never _ put myself first!”  His whole body was shaking.  His voice was cracking.  He was falling apart as Akaashi stood there and screamed at him and he couldn’t stop it.  “Everything was always about him.  What he wanted.  What upset him.  I was always dealing with his problems.  I felt like the only way my life could be even slightly about me again was to leave him.”

“Did you tell him that?”  Akaashi asked.  He wasn’t shouting anymore.  His arms were crossed and his head was cocked to the side, staring at him intensely. 

“He wouldn’t have understood.  He would have just assumed I was mad at him.”

“So you didn’t even try to talk to him and work it out?  You just left?”

“He wouldn’t understa-”

Both of them froze as music started blaring from Akaashi’s pocket.  He pulled out his phone, looking at it quickly before glancing back up at Kuroo.  He didn’t say anything before flipping the phone open and holding it to his ear.

“Hey how’re you doing?”  Kuroo could hear Bokuto cry through the speaker of the phone and he felt his heart drop into his stomach.  “Take a deep breath and talk to me okay?”  Akaashi turned away, putting his other hand over his ear so that he could hear Bokuto better.  “I can come over now, just give me a few minutes okay?  I’ll be right there.  Just don’t do anything stupid.  Give me ten minutes.”

Akaashi hung up and shot Kuroo a dirty look.  He walked back towards the door, pulling his shoes on.  Kuroo watched him, wondering if he was just going to leave without saying anything else.  Akaashi was his friend too, but he had obviously chosen a side.  That was what Kuroo had dreaded the most.  How many friends was he going to lose because he couldn’t handle being with Bokuto anymore?

“He deserves an explanation,” Akaashi said, opening the door to leave.  “Because you know as well as I do that Bokuto will do whatever it takes to make it work with you.  If you still give a shit about him at all, you have to tell him what’s going on and fix this.”

With that, Akaashi was gone.

Kuroo flopped back down onto the couch and reached for his coffee.  It was cold now.  He groaned and took a reluctant sip before putting it back down.  He heard footsteps and Kenma poked his head out of the bedroom door.  After scanning the room to make sure there was no one else there, he walked over to reclaim his spot on the couch.

There was silence for a few minutes.  For once, Kenma wasn’t on his phone.

Kuroo broke the silence.  “I’m assuming you heard all that.”

Kenma nodded, not looking up at him. 

“And?”

“And what?”  Kenma glanced at him before staring down at his lap.  “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, I just sort of want your opinion.”

“I think everything you said was justified.”  Kuroo stared down at him, but Kenma still refused to look up.  He was playing with his fingers.  “I think that your reasons were legitimate ones.”  Kuroo opened his mouth but Kenma continued before he could speak.  “But I think that Akaashi also had a point.”

Kuroo’s mouth snapped shut and he glared down at him.  “What do you mean he had a point?”

“I mean what he said wasn’t uncalled for.  The yelling was, but the message wasn’t.  If you didn’t explain yourself to Bokuto, that makes you kind of an ass.”

“Shut up,” he said angrily, standing up to bring his cup into the kitchen.  

“So you didn’t want my opinion,” Kenma said quietly in the other room.  “You just wanted me to tell you that you were right.”

Kuroo put the cup down harder than he should’ve and it shattered in the sink.  He groaned, picking up the pieces and throwing them away.  Maybe he did just want justification that he was right.  But was that so bad?  For once he wanted to hear that his choice was right.  

Kenma was suddenly behind him, peeking around him to see what had broken.  “You know, if you suddenly told me that we weren’t friends anymore and didn’t tell me why, I’d probably cry too.”

He froze, half way between the sink and the trashcan.  His stomach was twisting.  

“I can only imagine what Bokuto is going through right now, but I think hearing a reason would help.  Because Akaashi was right; Bokuto would do just about anything for you.  If you talked to him, he’d probably make the effort to fix it.  He obviously loves you a lot.”

Kuroo dumped the pieces of his mug into the garbage and walked away, heading for his bedroom.  He knew Kenma was right.  He could even admit that Akaashi probably had a point.  But neither of them understood.  It wasn’t what Bokuto had done.  It was who he is.  He wasn’t going to ask him to change himself.

He expected Kenma to follow him, to keep trying to convince him to talk to Bokuto.  But Kenma didn’t.  Kuroo flopped down on his bed and lay there in silence.  After a few minutes, he heard the front door open and then close again.  He knew Kenma had left.

_ Great job, asshole,  _ he thought to himself.   _ You’re going  to lose all your friends like this. _

 


	3. Chapter 3

Most days passed slowly.  

Kuroo could almost hear the monotonous tick of the clock as he sat on the couch in his boxers.  No one was coming over. He wasn’t going out.  No need to try to keep up an appearance in the crushingly empty space of his apartment.  

The little memories that Bokuto had left scattered around his apartment were halting.  Kuroo had never imagined that he could end up sobbing on the floor over a shirt he found under his bed, or almost putting his fist through the wall after seeing a picture on his fridge, and yet both had happened earlier that day.  There were boxes stacked by his front door, full of things Bokuto had left here over the years, and his apartment was slowly getting emptier and emptier.

It’d only been six days, but it felt like an eternity.  He’d spent three of those days sitting on this couch, staring at the television that he didn’t bother turning on.  This was the first week he'd ever lived here without dating Bokuto.  Bokuto had helped him find the apartment, had helped him move in…

He stared at the blank TV.

_“It’s set up so that you can see the TV and see the door. It’s welcoming!”_

Bokuto had been smiling when Kuroo moved in here. Bokuto’s own apartment was only a few minutes away.  Honestly, he didn’t know why they’d even gotten separate apartments.

_“This way we can still have each other over for dinner!”_

Kuroo stood up quickly and pulled his couch out of its indentations in the carpet.  His hands shook as he pulled it across the room, to the wall next to the door.  The table moved next, knocking over chairs when he didn’t bother to pull them away first.  He didn’t pick them up as he stormed into the kitchen, pulling every picture and magnet off the fridge, throwing them on the floor.

Things needed to change. His apartment needed to change.

He rampaged through the apartment, determined to fix everything he could. The dirty plates that had been stacked in the sink for the past week were his first target.  He scrubbed them, hard, his fingers pruning under the scalding water but he never flinched.  No matter what he did, they were never clean enough.  He'd left them too long.  

A loud curse left his mouth as his trembling hands dropped one of the plates into the sink, where it shattered.  

The next one shattered against the floor.

His hands stung from the nearly boiling water as he shut off the tap and went back to the living room, leaving the pieces of ceramic on the floor.  He could feel his whole body shaking, his lungs not able to take in a full breath, and he pounded a fist on his chest to try to snap himself out of it.  He didn't have time for that; not while the walls were still covered in posters and the room was a mess.

The posters proved to be more of a challenge than he had anticipated.  The tape that’d been used to fasten them to the wall was reluctant to let them go, and Kuroo tried hard to preserve the edges.  He worked slowly, trying to delicately take them down without ripping them.  Most of them were Bokuto’s, since he rarely ever bought posters and things for himself.  He never saw the need for them.  Blank walls didn’t bother him the same way bothered Bokuto.  He didn’t need a distraction like posters on his walls to--

The corner of the poster ripped as he tried to pull it a bit too aggressively.

“Son of a _bitch_ ,” he yelled, ripping the poster in half.  What was the point of keeping something that could be destroyed so easily?  It was so stupid.  All of this was so stupid.  

The rest of the posters came down in a whirlwind of ripped paper and small cuts on his fingers.  Bags of garbage were thrown by the front door to be taken out to the trash later.   The coasters that had been scattered around on the coffee table were stacked neatly, the sticky coffee rings cleaned off of them.  The dishes were washed and put away, no longer littering the counters and sink.  His walls were bare, except the few pictures of him and Kenma that he left up.

But the illusion he'd built for himself of purging Bokuto from the apartment was shattered as soon as Kuroo reached his bedroom.  He'd started pulling things out of his closet, determined to find every single thing Bokuto had left here, but made the mistake of opening one of the boxes he knew was Bokuto's.  

Photo albums.  Tons of them.  From the few months that Bokuto had been obsessed with printing every picture they took out and saving them.  There was album upon album stacked on his bed now, pictures scattered all over the sheets and the floor.  Pages ripped.  Photos crumpled up and in the trash.  

He was sitting on the floor, back leaning against his nightstand, tears streaming down his face as he held one of the pictures in his lap.  Bokuto had taken this picture, the camera turned around so that he could take it of the two of them.  The sky behind them was purple and pink.  It was a really incredible sunset.  He remembered it perfectly.

They’d spent the day together in Tokyo, pretending they were tourists and looking at all the sights as though they hadn't grown up there.  Kuroo had found the album dedicated to that day.  They had taken so many pictures…

_“Hey, Kuroo!” Bokuto yelled, pointing dramatically as Kuroo went to take another picture of him. “We barely have any pictures together!  We're doing tourists wrong!”_

_“But it's hard to get us both in the picture when you keep moving around,” Kuroo smirked, snapping another shot as Bokuto stormed over to him._

_“Unacceptable,” Bokuto stated forcefully, pulling Kuroo's phone out of his hand and snapping what turned out to be a terrible picture of him._

_Kuroo rolled his eyes, smiling at how Bokuto could barely manage to hold the phone camera steady.  “Come here,” he whispered and grabbed Bokuto's arm, pulling him around so they were next to each other and taking the phone back.  “You wanted one together,” he said with a smile.  “On ‘three’, okay? One, two..”_

Kuroo let out a shaky cry, tears falling onto the photo.

* * *

 

“That shirt is mine too,” Kuroo said, pulling it out of Bokuto’s dresser and throwing it into the box on Bokuto’s bed.  “Seriously, how much of my stuff did you take?”

Kuroo had gotten a call from Akaashi a week and three days after he’d broken up with Bokuto, telling him to go to Bokuto's place to pick up some boxes of stuff he'd found while he cleaned out the apartment.  Kuroo hadn't wanted to, but Akaashi threatened to burn it.  

Akaashi had met him at Bokuto's front door, and said he'd be waiting outside since Bokuto wanted to have the few minutes alone with Kuroo.  Hesitantly, Kuroo had agreed to it.

“I didn’t take it!” Bokuto shot at him, his arms crossed as he leaned against the doorframe, watching Kuroo toss all the crap he’d left here over the last three years into the box.  Akaashi hadn’t done a good job of separating their things. “You just left stuff here all the time and it got mixed up with mine.”

“Whatever.”  Kuroo glanced around one last time before folding the lid of the box to close it.  He picked it up and pushed past Bokuto into the living room of the apartment.  

Bokuto watched him as he made his way into the small kitchen, looking in the cabinets and pulling out two of the coffee mugs.  

“That one is mine,” Bokuto said quickly, moving to stand next to him and picking up one of the mugs, trying to put it back.  

“No it’s not.”

“Yeah, it is. I bought it.”

“You bought it for me, which makes it mine.”  Kuroo pulled it out again and walked out of the kitchen before Bokuto could stop him.  “You have like ten other ones so I think you can deal with me taking this one.”

Bokuto didn’t say anything.  There was silence for a minute as Kuroo packed away the mugs.  Then suddenly, there was a crash from the kitchen.  

“What the hell?” Kuroo yelled, running back over.  

There was a mug shattered on the floor and another in Bokuto’s hand.  He was fighting back tears, and as Kuroo watched, he threw it onto the floor, where it shattered.  

“What are you doing?” Kuroo asked, his eyes wide.  He grabbed Bokuto’s hand as he made to get another one from the cabinet.  “Stop it.”

“Then you stop!” Bokuto yelled, yanking his arm out of Kuroo’s grip.  “Stop taking everything back and just… don't go.”

Kuroo felt his heart drop.  “If you want to break all your dishes, fine.  But it’s only going to make you need new ones. It’s not going to fix--”

“I know! It won’t fix anything! Nothing I do is going to fix anything!” Bokuto yelled, and he grabbed another one before Kuroo could stop him and hurled it against the wall.  Kuroo had to duck to avoid getting hit by shards of glass.  “I’m sorry I’m crap! I’m sorry!”

“You’re not crap, Ko-”

“What did I do?”  Boktuo practically sobbed, cutting Kuroo off.  “Because I can’t fucking think of what I did wrong!”

“I just can’t ke-”

“I've been trying to figure out what the hell I did and I just can't! Please tell me!”

“It's not that simp-”

“I don't understand! Can we at lea-”

“Oh my god!” Kuroo yelled and Bokuto stopped talking, swallowing his words and looking at him with tears in his eyes. “You're never going to let me speak, are you? God, it's like talking to a wall!”  He stormed out of the kitchen, grabbing the box from the table and walking out of the apartment without looking back.

Akaashi was still waiting outside the door, and he glared furiously at Kuroo as he passed.

“What the fuck did you say to him?” Akaashi hissed, knocking into his shoulder unforgivingly as he rushed into the apartment.  “You're pathetic, Kuroo.”

The door slammed, and he could still hear the sound of mugs breaking inside.

_Pathetic._

...Pathetic?

Kuroo frowned, thinking, and made his way down the stairs and out onto sidewalk.  He pulled his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his contacts as he headed home.

 


	4. Chapter 4

This was a stupid idea.  Kuroo frowned at his phone as he went through his contacts, searching.  He really should just call Bokuto and talk to him.  It had been two weeks.  Long enough that maybe now they could have a rational conversation.

He pressed the ‘call’ button before he could stop himself and put the phone to his ear.  It rang twice before Kuroo realized that he probably wasn’t going to pick up.  Why would he?  It’s not like they ended on the best of terms.  Maybe he should just hang--

“What the hell do you want?”

The voice on the other end of the line sounded irritated; the same way it always sounded.  Kuroo almost smiled.

“It’s been a while, Kei.  How are you?”

“Do not call me that,” Tsukishima said angrily.  “Why are you calling me in the first place?  I thought we had a pretty good understanding of-”

“I was bored,” Kuroo said simply.  He held the phone up with his shoulder and stretched his arms above his head, flopping over to lay across his couch. 

“Bored?” Tsukishima repeated.

“Very bored,” he confirmed.  He knew he wasn’t doing a good job of keeping Tsukishima on the line, but he hadn’t really expected him to pick up in the first place and was slightly flustered.  “I was thinking, since I believe you still live in Tokyo, maybe we could grab a drink together.”

There was a pause before Tsukishima laughed.  “Why would I want to do that?”

Kuroo frowned.  “Because you miss me,” he teased.  It was the only way he really knew how to talk to him.  “Come on, one drink.  We’ll go to the bar right by campus, for old times sake.”

“Is your boyfriend coming with us?” Tsukishima asked flatly.

He bit his lip, not wanting to speak until he was sure his voice would come out evenly.  “What boyfriend?” he said after a moment.  He was proud he’d been able to keep it from wavering.  “It’d just be the two of us.”

“Oh.”  Tsukishima paused again, and Kuroo could hear him laugh softly.  “So this is a booty call?”

“No!” Kuroo yelled quickly, sitting up on the couch.  “It’s not, really.  I just wanted to see you and-”

“You just wanted to go get a drink with your ex at the bar you used to go to together all the time right after getting out of a long term relationship.  You’re right.  That doesn’t sound like a booty call at all.”  Tsukishima’s voice was heavy with sarcasm, but Kuroo noticed that despite that, he wasn’t hanging up.

“Fine, whatever you want to call it.  I’d just like to see you.”

There was a long sigh through the receiver, then, “I’ll meet you there in an hour. If you’re a minute late, I’m going home.”

There was a click as Tsukishima hung up.

\--

Kuroo was at the bar fifteen minutes early.  He wanted to make sure he’d be there first, mostly so he could rub it in Tsukishima’s face.  He took a seat at the bar and ordered a beer, waiting.  He didn’t have to wait long because no more than five minutes later, someone slumped down onto the chair next to him.

“Absolutely ridiculous,” was the first thing out of Tsukishima’s mouth.  Kuroo laughed softly, looking him up and down.  He looked the same as he did in college, if not a little taller.  He still had his glasses and sour expression.  “This was a stupid idea.”

“Good to see you too,” Kuroo said cheerfully, clapping him on the back.  Tsukishima looked offended at the touch.  “This is on me, okay? What do you want?”

“Whatever you’re drinking,” he said quietly.  The same reply he’d given since college. Kuroo gave the order to the bartender who ran off to grab the drink.  “So are you going to tell me why you insisted we hang out again?  Or are you just thirsty after Bo dumped your ass?”

Kuroo’s stomach twisted and his hands curled into fists.  He didn’t know what else he had expected.  It’s not like they’d ended on the best terms, and Tsukishima had no reason to be nice to him.  But still, the comment hurt.

“I actually broke up with him,” Kuroo said quietly, looking down at his beer.  There was silence for a moment before Tsukishima let out a small hum.

“Interesting.  I didn’t think Bo was the kind of person who could do something worth breaking up over.”

“He’s not,” Kuroo whispered.  “It was my fault.”

Tsukishima took a drink of his beer, looking sideways at him.  He shrugged and put the bottle down on the bar.  “Well that’s less surprising.”

Kuroo glared at him.  “You know what?  You were right.  This was a stupid idea.”

“Great, does that mean I can go home now?”

“No.”

They fell silent, both raising their drinks to their lips.  They’d dated for the entirety of Kuroo’s time in college, two years of which Tsukishima had still been in high school.  The relationship had been fine when it was long distance, but as soon as they saw each other everyday, things started to go downhill.  

Tsukishima had ended it a few months after Kuroo graduated.  A year later, Kuroo started dating Bokuto.

“So,” Kuroo said awkwardly.  “Are you seeing anyone?”

“No.”

“Oh, well.  Have you-”

“I haven’t dated since we broke up.”  There was another pause.  Kuroo’s mouth was open slightly as Tsukishima took another drink.  He glanced over and laughed when he saw Kuroo’s face.  “It’s not because of you.  Don’t flatter yourself by thinking you were that important to me.  I just haven’t been interested.  I wanted to concentrate on finishing school, and then work started to take over my life.  Dating was never the first thing on my mind to start with.”

“That must get pretty lonely,” Kuroo said quietly.

“Not really,” Tsukishima shrugged.  “I’m not desperate for attention like you are.  It took you, what, a week of being single to call me?”

Two weeks.  “Shut up.”

Tsukishima laughed, turning in his seat to face him.  “So what did you do?  I’m dying to know.”

Kuroo glared at him, slumping over to rest his arms and head on the bar.  “Do we have to talk about it?”

“You made me get up and leave my apartment to come see you, so yes, we have to talk about it.  Maybe if I feel sorry enough for you, I’ll consider actually taking you up on your booty call.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” he asked.  “I said I wasn’t interested in dating, not that I wasn’t interested in other stuff.”

“I don’t want pity sex.”

“Suit yourself.  So what happened?”

Kuroo sighed, and explained.  Tsukishima stayed quiet, listening.  He had trouble keeping his voice steady when he told him that Bokuto had just become too much for him, that he needed space.  Once Kuroo had finished speaking, the two of them sat in silence for a few moments.  He didn’t have anything else to say.  

Tsukishima turned away, back to the bar, and took a drink from his beer.

“Well that’s complete bullshit.”

Kuroo’s eyes widened and he stared at Tsukishima, anger boiling up inside him.  No, he was not going to deal with this again.  He was not going to have another person tell him he was wrong, just like Akaashi had.  He opened his mouth, ready to tell Tsukishima off, but he was cut off.

“If nothing’s different from before then why are you feeling like this now?  You know, maybe the problem is you and not him.”

“What? You don’t know what yo-”

“Now that I think about it, we never really talked about our problems either.  And look what happened with us.  There’s a reason we hadn’t spoken since I dumped you.”  He turned back in his seat, fully facing Kuroo, and rested his elbow on the bar with his chin in his hand. “If you ask me, you just have an issue with wanting to stay happy in a relationship.”

Again, Kuroo tried to speak.  But again, Tsukishima cut him off.

“But, either way, right now you’re single and miserable.  So if you wanted to go back to my place, I wouldn’t be opposed.” 

This time, Kuroo didn’t even try.  He couldn’t speak now even if he wanted to.  And he really did want to.  What the hell was he supposed to say to that?  Tsukishima was the last person Kuroo would have expected to say something like that so bluntly. Even when they’d been dating it was hard to get him to do or say anything even remotely sexual.  

But he couldn’t say yes, could he?  That would be wrong, given Bokuto was… Well, what  _ was _ Bokuto?  

His ex.  That’s all he was now.  Same as Tsukishima.  

The thought made Kuroo’s stomach twist unpleasantly.  

Tsukishima was watching him, an eyebrow raised, and Kuroo realized he’d been silent for a while now.  His face flushing, he turned quickly to the bar and raised his drink, downing it in a few short gulps.  

He was single now, so…

“Alright, sure.”

\--

The taxi ride back to Tsukishima’s apartment was awkward.  Neither of them spoke, and Tsukishima sat with his head resting against the window of the cab, staring out at the streetlights they passed.  Kuroo just stared at his knees.  

Kuroo paid the driver after Tsukishima got out without offering, and followed him up the path and inside.  Tsukishima lived on the third floor, and they both took off their shoes once his front door had closed behind them.  

The silence was uncomfortable, but Kuroo didn’t know what to say to break it.  He’d never done this before, not with someone who he wasn’t dating.  How did it start?  Should he just go kiss him?  Should he ask what Tsukishima wanted to do?  Why did he say yes to this anyway? 

“Kuroo.”

He looked up quickly from where he’d been staring at the floor, and flinched at how close Tsukishima was.  They were practically nose to nose, Tsukishima standing slightly taller than Kuroo like he had since high school, and as he stared, Tsukishima moved to close the gap between them. He leaned in, his eyes closing, and pressed his lips on Kuroo’s.  

Guilt flooded Kuroo’s stomach. 

He stood, unmoving, as Tsukishima kissed him; thoughts flooding his mind as soft lips pressed against his own.  Thoughts of his hands in Bokuto’s dumb hair.  Thoughts of Bokuto’s lips twitching into a smile when they kissed.  Thoughts of Bokuto laughing as they made out on his couch.  

He wanted to reach out and touch Bokuto’s strong arms, to hear his stupid laugh because he could never stop laughing when they kissed, to open his eyes and see Bokuto’s crooked smile brightening the room.  

But instead when he opened his eyes, he saw a pair of glasses.

“Tsukki, wait…”  Kuroo pulled away, taking a step back quickly.  He was shaking, feeling almost nauseous.  How could he kiss Tsukishima when Bokuto…   “I- I can’t do this…”

“You can’t?”  Tsukishima stood, arms now crossed over his chest and an eyebrow raised, watching Kuroo closely. 

“I can’t,” Kuroo repeated, his gaze falling back to the floor.  “I mean, I just… It’s not right and I feel like-”

“You feel like you’re cheating on him.”

It wasn’t a question, and they both knew it was true.  There was no point in trying to deny it. 

“Sort of.”

Tsukishima frowned, turning his head to look away from him and clicking his tongue.  “But I thought the whole point of this break up was to not have that attachment anymore,” he huffed, his voice a bit strained

“The point was to try to make him understand that-”

“To make him understand? So you broke up with him over something a conversation would have fixed,” Tsukishima cut sharply over him.  Kuroo’s eyes snapped up from the ground.  It sounded like he wanted to yell, but couldn’t.  “Do you even want to be broken up? Or is this all some punishment for him?” Tsukishima asked, his speech getting faster as he continued. 

“It’s not!” Kuroo insisted.  “I mean, I just wanted my life to be about me again.”

At that, Tsukishima laughed.  It was bitter and cruel, and Kuroo almost recoiled from it.  There was no more restraint to his tone, anger and resentment now clear in his voice that Kuroo couldn’t quite understand.

“Sounds like you’re just punishing him until he understand something that you won’t explain to him.  You’re an ass, honestly, and it’s bullshit that you’re keeping him miserable because you don’t have the balls to have a real conversation with your boyfriend.”

Kuroo stood frozen.  He didn’t have the balls to have a real conversation?  That wasn’t true at all.  Bokuto just didn’t have the attention span to really talk.  It’d be pointless to even try.  How would he even explain it anyway?  The way he’d explained it to Akaashi and Tsukishima?  Just outright say that Bokuto had become overbearing?   Or that he himself had started to worry that his life was going nowhere?  

It felt like a rock dropped in his stomach at that thought.  

Maybe Bokuto wasn’t the problem… 

“It’s not a punishment.  I guess this was more just a way to-”

He stopped talking.  Noise has started blaring from his pocket as his phone buzzed to life.  Kuroo saw Tsukishima glare towards the source of the sound, as though it had personally offended him, but he pulled his phone out to look who was calling all the same.

His breathing stopped.

[ _ Incoming Call: BoCuteO _ ]

It was like time stood still for the moments that Kuroo looked down at his phone in his hand.  Two weeks.  It’d taken two weeks for Bokuto to call him, which he was sure was only because Akaashi had stopped him.  A rush a joy spread over him like fire and he couldn’t quite justify it to himself.  He had to answer it. Couldn’t just ignore it.  Needed to know what Bokuto wanted.  Needed to hear his voice and--

“Get out.”

Kuroo pulled his eyes away from his phone with some difficulty to look up at Tsukishima.  He looked angry; his hands were curled into fists and he was glaring at Kuroo.

“I just-”

“Get. Out.” Tsukishima repeated.  “Leave. Go answer your damn phone.”

Kuroo glanced down at the phone still buzzing in his hand.  He wanted to go and answer it.  Needed to.  But as he watched it, the ringing stopped, and silence fell over the room again.

There was a pause, and then:

“I’m sorry, Kei.  I’ll… I’ll talk to you again. Soon. I promise.”

“I’d rather you not,” Tsukishima deadpanned.  He turned, and left Kuroo standing alone in his living room.  Kuroo watched him go without trying to stop him.   
  



	5. Chapter 5

Kuroo left Tsukishima’s apartment and was back down on the street before he realized he was running.  His hands were trembling as he clicked through his phone, his feet thudding against the pavement.  It rang as he turned a corner, nearly losing his footing.  It rang as he sprinted with all his might, his legs starting to ache but not stopping.  It rang as Kuroo reached the front steps of Bokuto’s building, and finally, there was a click as the phone was answered.

“T-tetsurou?” 

“Open your door,” Kuroo panted, leaning over as he tried to regain his breath and stop his body from shaking.

“What?”

“Your front door.  Let me in.  Please.”

There was silence over the line for a few moments, only broken by Kuroo’s attempts to calm his breath.  

Kuroo heard movement and then a buzz from the front door.  He ripped it open, dashing up the steps to Bokuto’s apartment.  He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, drowning out any other sound.  He wasn’t sure if or when he had hung up his phone, but it was no longer in his hand.  He only stopped when he was right outside Bokuto’s apartment door, his chest hurting and short of breath.  

The door opened without him needing to knock.  

There was a moment, when their eyes first met, that Kuroo swore all the air in the building vanished.  It was suffocating, staring at Bokuto as he stared back.  Kuroo didn’t notice the puffiness of his eyes; didn’t notice how short Bokuto’s hair was now, or how pale his skin was.  He didn’t notice himself move forward, his arms reaching out.

It had been two weeks since Kuroo had kissed Bokuto, and as soon as their lips met it was like a breath of life for him.  The kiss was wet, Bokuto all but sobbing as his arms wrapped tightly around Kuroo's shoulders as if holding on for dear life.  He wanted Bokuto to never let go, to hold him tight like that until they couldn't breathe from kissing each other over and over again. 

Maybe it was selfish of him to want that after all he’d done.  

“Kou,” Kuroo managed to say as Bokuto's mouth refused to leave his.  “I'm-”

“Sorry,” Bokuto finished his thought, pulling back but continued pressing small kisses to his lips again and again.  “I'm sorry, Tetsu. I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.”  

Kuroo moved them into the apartment, his arms holding Bokuto tightly, and managed to push the door shut behind them. He kissed Bokuto again, long and slow, before forcing himself to pull away. 

“I’m the one who should be apologizing,” he breathed, looking at Bokuto's shoulder rather than his face. “I… I made a mistake.  I don't expect you to forgi-”

“You're already forgiven.”  Bokuto stated it as if it was fact.  “You were forgiven before you ever left.” 

It hurt more than Kuroo had expected it to.  He had expected yelling, expected them to fight.  But as usual, Bokuto was too good for him.  And he'd almost lost that.

Kuroo’s breath hitched and before he could stop himself he left out a small sob and buried his face into Bokuto’s shoulder.  If he was being honest, he really needed Bokuto to yell.

“I'm sorry, Koutaro.”

“I told you, you're forgi-”

“ _ Please _ ,” Kuroo pleaded, pulling back to look at him fully, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Please let me apologize to you.” 

He let the request hang in the air, needing Bokuto to understand how badly he wanted to say he was sorry.  Bokuto’s face had scrunched up a bit, like it always did when he was thinking hard, and Kuroo stayed silent, letting him gather his thoughts.

“I don’t want you to apologize,” he said after a few moments, still holding Kuroo close to him, his grip tight as if afraid to let go.  “What I want.. No, what I think.. What I  _ deserve _ is an explanation.  Yeah.  I want to know why.”

Kuroo could easily picture Akaashi telling him what to say, whispering in his ear not to let Kuroo off so easily after what he’d done.  But this time, Kuroo didn’t feel the need to defend himself against it.  Akaashi was right, had been right from the beginning; Bokuto deserved an explanation.  

But he still didn’t quite know what to say.

“Let’s sit down,” he suggested, buying himself a bit more time before he had to try to string together all the thoughts in his head.  “Maybe make some coffee?”

Bokuto’s face went a bit red and he glanced down at the floor.  “Can’t make coffee.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t have any mugs…”

“None? I thought you had a ton.”

“They broke,” Bokuto said flatly.  

There was a pause as Kuroo registered what he’d said.  He couldn’t stop himself from letting out a small laugh.  “All of them?” he asked, taking a step to move them closer to the couch. 

“Don’t laugh!  The last one I just dropped by accident…” Bokuto pouted.  

“Your poor kitchen,” Kuroo laughed again and shook his head. 

Bokuto gave him a sheepish smile and finally loosened his grip, stepping away from Kuroo enough for them to both sit down on the couch.  They sank a bit into the worn cushions, their shoulders pressed up against each other.  

They sat in silence, Kuroo’s hands clasped tightly in his lap.  He’d come running when Bokuto called.  Hadn’t even thought about what he was doing, just ran as fast as he could back to him.  And now that he was here, they had to talk, had to sort this out because Kuroo didn’t think he’d be able to handle leaving knowing that they couldn’t fix this.  But how?  What was he supposed to say? 

Bokuto’s hand touched his and Kuroo jumped, looking up at him with wide eyes.  Bokuto nodded towards their hands and opened his own, fingers separated, asking for Kuroo’s.  Their fingers laced together and Bokuto rubbed his thumb over Kuroo’s lightly.  

“Take your time,” he whispered, his voice still wavering a bit despite how still his hands were.  Kuroo just stared at him, sitting there patiently as if they had all the time in the world.  Maybe they did. 

“How can you forgive me just like that?” Kuroo asked.  “I fucked up.  I fucked up so bad, Kou.  I wouldn't even forgive me.  Or I’d at least make me work for it, but you just-” 

“Well that's easy.  It's because I love you, Tetsu.”  

Bokuto smiled, and Kuroo was sure the room lit up around them as he did.  It was the best smile, the one from high school when he'd won a match, from college when he'd had too much to drink, from three years ago when they first said ‘I love you’.  It had been just as easy for Bokuto to say it then as it was now.  No hesitation at all, just that beaming smile and charm he’d always had.  

“I love you too, Kou.”

Kuroo couldn’t smile as widely, couldn’t light up the room the same way Bokuto could, but it didn’t make it any less true.  He loved him, more and more everyday, especially the days when they were apart.  He loved him with all his heart. He’d never stopped.  He couldn’t have stopped even if he tried.  

“Do you think we can talk then?  About what happened?  Because I still just don’t get it.”  

Kuroo took a deep breath, and started talking.

“You can be a lot, Kou.  And most of the time it was fine, I actually really love it when you’re a lot, but sometimes I needed you to not be.  I needed time to focus on me and shit I was dealing with, but you never seemed to notice when things were wrong.  And it started to feel like you just didn’t care at all.  It was like my problems didn’t matter.”

“But you never told me when you had problems.”

“I know, I realized that.  I guess I just expected you to know.”

“How though? I’m not like one of those mind reader people.”

Kuroo couldn’t help but laugh a little, both at  _ mind reader people _ and at the fact that Tsukishima had basically told him the same thing earlier that night.  

_ Sounds like you’re just punishing him until he understand something that you won’t explain to him. _

“I know. But at the time I guess I was too frustrated to think about it like that.  I mean, you would just complain about stupid stuff like practices or whatever and-”

“Sorry,” Bokuto cut in over him.  “I know you hate it when I interrupt you but I think I understand what you’re saying.  And I know I just talked over you but can I say something without you interrupting me?”  Bokuto paused, waiting for Kuroo to respond.  He nodded, knowing they’d get nowhere if he didn’t listen.  “I know that I can be a lot to handle sometimes and that I complain about things that seem stupid to you.  But you know, they’re not stupid to me.  I knew you hated when I complain about practice but practice can get frustrating and if I didn’t at least vent a little I was gonna end up hating it.  And I didn’t want to hate it, because I love it.  I needed that, for me.  And so, if we’re gonna do this again - which I really,  _ really  _ hope we are - you have let me complain about it.  And you have to be able to vent to me too, okay?  Even if it’s about me.  Because I don’t want you to end up hating me again.”

Kuroo took a moment to take that all in.  Bokuto may have never realized when things were wrong from him, but he never realized just how much Bokuto needed him to know he wasn’t always okay either.  He’d been selfish, again.  But he could fix that.

“I never hated you,” Kuroo assured him, squeezing Bokuto’s hand tightly.

“Okay but you left me and that sucked and I don’t want you to do it again,” Bokuto laughed, almost covering up the crack in his voice.  “It sucked so much, Tetsu.  I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.  I think Akaashi was getting tired of me calling him fifteen times a day since he said I wasn’t allowed to call you.”

Kuroo squeezed his hand, wondering if Bokuto would believe him if he said how much it sucked for him too.

“I know what you mean.  I called Tsukishima,” Kuroo laughed.  Bokuto’s eyes widened and his head whipped around so fast Kuroo was sure he must have given himself whiplash.  He spoke again before Bokuto had the chance.  “He was just as unhappy to hear from me as you’d think, but we went and got a drink.”

“Tsukki actually agreed to be in your presence?” 

“I was shocked too,” Kuroo smiled.  “But it was awkward.  I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” 

Bokuto was quiet for a second, and Kuroo could practically see the gears turning in his head.  He waited, letting Bokuto figure out what he wanted to say.  

“Well I guess I win then,” Bokuto said with a firm nod.  

Kuroo smiled.  “You win.”

“I always won against Tsukki anyway.”

“That’s true. Ever since high school.”

“Remember when I spiked it really hard and I almost hit him in the face?”

“Yeah, he complained about it for about six months.  I swear he said your name more than he said mine.”

Bokuto laughed and leaned into Kuroo’s side, putting his head on his shoulder.  

"Speaking of high school,” Bokuto started, “do you remember when Konoha told us we should date? I remember it. I remember thinking 'No way, I could never date  _ him _ . That’s ridiculous. He's my best friend.'  And besides, you were totally into Tsukki back then.  But then flash forward four years, and I couldn't even imagine what it was like  _ not _ dating you.  And I didn't have to imagine it for such a long time, and that was awesome.”

Bokuto paused, and Kuroo looked at him.  He was staring ahead, a smile still splayed across his face and a flush in his cheeks.  

It was a really charming smile. 

“Two weeks seems like nothing, you know?  Compared to three years.  But man, those weeks freaking sucked.  Worst than when we had that really bad flu, do you remember?  When I was really sick and then you got sick and neither of us could even get out of bed and Akaashi had to come bring us food cause we were dying?”

“I remember,” Kuroo breathed with a laugh.  “He got sick right after we got better and he wanted to kill us.”

“Yeah, yeah. Worse than that.”

Kuroo couldn’t wait any longer.  That smile and those lips were too appealing in that moment to stop himself.  He turned, pushing Bokuto off him enough for him to lean in and press their lips together.  He had two weeks worth of kisses to make up for, and he sort of wanted to make them all up tonight.  

“We’re really going to fix this, right?” Bokuto asked against Kuroo’s lips, arms around his waist as he tugged Kuroo up into his lap.  

“I promise we will.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys!! Writers block hit hard and life got crazy, but I was finally able to finish this! I hope you enjoyed this final chapter, and thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> This started as an innocent drabble and turned into hell. I'm not sorry.
> 
>    
> [Tumblr.](http://akeijis.tumblr.com)  
> [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/akeiji5)


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